update

Its been a ling long time i wrote on blog. 

Actually got a boring life for time being, rest before the reality starts. hahaha hibernate for 5 months. For now just work and earn more money. Prepare for college. Then get married wtf hahaha. And now must play play play. no more bye bye.

what the meaning of blogging...

ok simple as that... blogging is showing off what happen to us and what new things we got in our life everyday... so for such a long time i did not write anything... cuz nothing happen... and today i got something to say... LOVE YOUR ENEMY... thats all thats how love appear hahaha... yah... and nothing happen edi... waiting for happy... 

all grown ups...

all friends leaving so soon... all grown up so big boobs also bigger a little bit hahaha just abit...ok lah we knew each other 7 years... wow so old and so big d... hahaha even me too... all matured d... we all facing the real life man... looking into the bigger image of the world... soon working people facing the stock market knowing the financial and everything... soon married with a bunch of brat kids like when we're young hahaha recycle... then we will teach them drinking smoking having sex wow what a fuck up daddy... yeah joane take care in united kingdom, london... if i free sure go and visit you de... travel everywhere... hahaha 2 years ok lah i targe 2009 this time find you... save up moneys cash ok... hahaha... then we all go out play have fun... wah all collegeour age all enterig college d... daphne, kai lyn, lynnett, ah jen, some gone working then your turn joane then see me first or your sis... if i faster abit june college woohoo... yes lah all college... but i think i will be the most outstanding one... i will be number 1 hahahaha just kidding... ok till here basketball time... hehe... ok ciaosz...

so great of using my name...

got into trouble... using my name... what i have got to be inside... your mistakes, but i sacrifice... in the end no thank you... just tell me to leave this aside... fuck it... ain't not doing any kind guy anymore... enough is enough... you got your guy... if he got balls at first all this wouldn't happen... continue with what you think is good... wasting my time and credits for nothing... in the end only make people hates me more... stupid me sacrifice for nothing... i am done... finish doing my part... you got a new guy he should be the one helping you solve it not me... yeah maybe i am just busybody... well i am done... bye bye 

why

why am i still emo... it seems like i can't forget her... why am i still crying out in pain... how can i get over this... how why must relationship turns out to be so hurtful for me... its been so long she has found her love... i should be happy for her, yes i am happy for her... but why i am still feeling emotional... Are you there for me when i am in pain... are you??? do still love me??? why do you do this to me, why do you do this so easily...HOW... how to forget her how to let go... why do i still think of her every night... am i falling for someone hahaha... forget bout i said up there... just kidding i am not falling for someone i am no more emo... i am just as happy as i used to be... woohoo the feeling is great... yeah but if you ask me do i still love her... the answer is YES I STILL LOVE HER VERY MUCH... AND I MISSES HER ALOT... but well things didn't work out for some reasons... our life is all make up by GOD only he knows whats good and wads best for every single one of us... so every single dumb and dumerrer appreciate this life he gave you... stop falling in unnecessary traps get up on your feet and walk up straight... you can see the future as bright as me... ciaoz stupid

found something in life...

today is ok... had abit of fun... when to school sang some songs for worship... theres a song and i desperate for you, and i am lost without you... wow when i heard it... is almost like a time bom gonna explot any time soon hahaha... but never mind... time is passing by real fast... after that when for class break, and then when back in to the class to do some work not even a page done... i left school already... when for education fair at pan pacific... its ok not a big thing... lil tiny fair... all about australia... but theres a college not bad but is in singapore haiz... so never mind... will submit the application form real soon... at least can leave CA and step out of that cage... then we left after that a heavy pour of rain came so rapidly... damn it we just got to walk up and down from pan pac to persada to kotaraya back and forth thinking how to get to city square... haiz in the end i gave up walk up and down just run all the way there and get myself wet... ok finaly took a bus on the way back... we saw chuan lung he is driving alone with loli good good girl hahaha... so i called him and he stop at the next bus stop to pick us up how kind is he... hahahahe is really tired today drove so damn slow... hahaha then when to friends house lepak abit too boring d... go home sleep is still the best... thats all for today hahaha... all the best to me... june intake i am in for sure hahaha... perasan neh... nvm i am hontoni kawaii neh... life goes on be happy cheer up... its no big deal... do your best the best you can get... even if you fail never mind at least you tried and you did... one word to you girl... IF YOU ARE HAPPY I AM ALWAYS HAPPY FOR YOU... I AM ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU IF U NEED HELP OR IN PAIN... I BELIEVE I KNOW YOUR INNER SELF BETTER NOW... so bear this in mind you need help jacob jake jakey is always there always always there for you no matter what... OK... good luck... stepping forward now time flies again i remembered i just finish K2 now college GOD DAMN... this is too fast... soon i am gonna see somebody calling YO DADDY JAKE... wow or maybe yo mother fucking prince grandpa... hohoho... anyway just a word for those in relationship, never say break to your girlfriend... trust me even how hard and how unbearable it is try suck it up to your nerve, never ever say break, don't go through the lesson that i had paid... if you don't believe try break up once and u shall know... anyway time for kneeling down in prayer and repent for what i had did in the past and now... buai buai jake hontoni kawaii neh... take care... PEACE

IF ONLY GOD ALLOW US TO TURN BACK THE TIME?

if can i would like to go all the way back to 1995...where everything is unknown to me... 1997 whole family in usa peaceful... then 1998 primary 2... so that i could remember shannon... keep going study hard and till last year 2007 take good care of shannon never upset her again and again untill this year... and b4 never touch cigrete... no frends like in gang... but too late... so now i am gonna set the right path lay a good foundation all the way till i am old... thats all... ciaoz bye bye simple life...

fuck off

the world is changing just for looks and glamorous... 1 day i will show u all... bye 

never hide you feelings

i will dig it out before you start burying it... never hide your feelings... dont run away from reality. for theres so many things to be done or get done... every single breath you take in life, theres something to happen... get over it deal with it... theres nothing we cant do about... its up to us humans to face it to deal with problems... every matter theres something to patch it up... so no worries... its up to us to think whether or not we want to face it or just leave it aside... by hiding it things wont turn good... unless theres something called amnesia. its up to you whether you want to change yourself or continue to hide in there the lil cave... change the way you think things wont turn good change the way you think same thing will happen again... as for me i want to come out of that dark, humid, scary lil cave... i want to stand up... we must have more happenings than fighting quarelling and so on... i am changing... opportunity is yours, cause i am waiting here... but when time comes it strikes me... every single tiny bit will change... choices is made for you... when you think something is right for you hold it grab it tight... it is a good investment for good not for bad... so be it... thats all i am gonna say peace love...    ~~JAKE PEACE~~

aint i good enough

FIRST OF ALL... WANNA WISH SHANNON MUMSY HAPPY BIRTHDAY... HAHAHA BUT CAN'T SEE... WISH U BUSINESS SMOOTH SMOOTH BIG MONEY... AND SECONDLY ITS APRIL FOOL... and lastly nothing about me... went for basketball thats it bye bye... take care...

what's LOVE?

LOVE is patient, Love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. When i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known. and now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. but the greatest for me and in these is LOVE.  love jake

what's LOVE?

LOVE is patient, Love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. When i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known. and now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. but the greatest for me and in these is LOVE.  love jake

finding aome way to go back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead, 
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed, 
I've been lonely for so long, 
Trapped in the past, 
I just can't seem to move on! 


I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away, 
Just in case I ever need them again someday, 
I've been setting aside time, 
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind! 


All I want to do is find a way back into love. 
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
 


I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine, 
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs, 
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere! 


I've been looking for someone to shed some light, 
Not somebody just to get me through the night, 
I could use some direction, 
And I'm open to your suggestions. 


All I want to do is find a way back into love. 
I can't make it through without a way back into love. 
And if I open my heart again, 
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end! 


There are moments when I don't know if it's real 
Or if anybody feels the way I feel 
I need inspiration 
Not just another negotiation 


All I want to do is find a way back into love, 
I can't make it through without a way back into love, 
And if I open my heart to you, 
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do, 
And if you help me to start again, 
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

anybody understands... 

must beat it

i went to students convention at hyatt yesterday... and yah talk to all those school... looks cool... and finally found a college in australia, is called blue mountain hotel school... the package and deal looks cool... but the fees wasnt that nice... hahaha... but yeah wadava fees lets leave it aside... cuz wad we need the most is aim... without aim, focus, and try our best how good the school are also cant do it... so yah i want to wait for my school transcript later on see how and study hard... hopefully can leave earlier and beat my target sooner... at least is my 1st step of moving on... yeah... anyway hope can be successful and b useful... hahaha... till here ciaosz...

stop and stare

what can i do now is stop and stare, others leave it aside... i have already tried my best... stop thinking stop missing... but if i can see her i will stare at her thats it... life too short to live... stop wasting time... time is precious... if everything goes well will see... luckily theres blogger for me to talk... will change myself... temper, ego, bad character i will remove it... i believe GOD is with me he will help me out... the only thing now is how GOD want me to be... he created me he put me here with all kinds of test... in the mean time he knows what is best for me... what i can do now is listen to him follow his guidence... nobody loves me more than GOD do... he is my father... am not trying to be holy here... and i will not be holy... i will be the same wild playful but must learn to grow up... i am very happy that i did not miss last nite service... i am happy that i went up front... after the service i felt diferent... thank GOD  for the healing... i will love her silently... and i will love GOD too... our aba father is that how we say hahaha... ok till here will always update to blog hahaha... thanks blog for letting me type here... hahaha... stupid... take care and ciaosz

outta my mind

hohoho... i am outta my mind last night... wow i cant believe i did this kinda things... is love so important to me wow... but no matter how much i do how badly i did... i dun think she thinks is nice... no matter how i struggle how much i care and love... maybe this relationship couldn't hang on anymore... but why am i still doing this why don't i just give up let it go why why why??? i feel like cause is also very hard... things are just not gonna make sense to me anymore why??? why couldn't she just step out and talk to me am i that scary??? am i??? i think is a yes... but why must i do all this things... i should just let go and start new find a better girl prettier hotter... why i just can't do it... no matter how hard i try there's no use... even if i don't give up now things will get worst... so what even if i give up... why must i give up??? why can't i take this seriously and face it... and just be happy... why there's so many things to consider... damn it... why must give up why must not give up... ARGH!!!...am i that crazy for her... and why must i be crazy for her... since she don't even treat me as the special guy... the worst part is feeding my friend right infront of my eyes can pull out the meat feed piece by piece... why i couldn't do this to her... why is it so hard for me to let go... is she that important??? what if i have another girl??? and i don't love her... isn't that a poor thing... but why must i love her if she don't even love me... why is there so many unsolve things in me... and why there's nobody to share to nobody i can express to except her... why why why??? am i really crazy for love... am i really crazy??? am i really selfish??? am i really not caring, not sensible, not mature??? why must people always look down on me??? and in the end i look down at myself??? and what's make them think that they are mature??? why is the world going haywire??? is GOD STILL HERE WITH US??? is he very disappointed???  why isn't there any peace in this world??? why must i have feelings??? why is my heart not tough to face it??? why can't i just tell a girl fuck it leave it??? ARGH!!! today is good Friday??? but is so sad... why can't she just listen to me and agree with it and try to deal with it??? why must we always quarrel for the same old things??? can i just forget about her and study hard find a new girl be a successful fellow... rather than wasting my time trying to win her back, cry, jealous, in the end hatred... is there any better way to solve all this things... why do i have so many questions but none of it can answer, and nobody to ask questions... when i ask her she say stop she don't want to see me... she don't want to hear all this... who can i talk to right now... i need somebody to overcome this with me... me myself alone and i can ask myself can answer myself... there's too many... who can i run to??? anybody who who who...  life is too short... why must i waste it??? why can't i just join the gangs do bad things take drugs smoke drink in the end money still come in, die so what... why can't i just treat her just like another ordinary girl, a girl that i played and throw away, why can't i do it... why must i keep thinking of the past eight, nine months... and who the fuck cares even if i post it in the blog... who the fuck will read it... even if people reads... they will still think is nonsense another fucking emo useless guy... who the fuck am i typing all this too... will people understand me??? i don't think so... people will just think i am not calm enough i just need more time bla bla bla bla bla...  but why my heart just kept feeling not well after the break up??? it keeps dropping down... got no strength... don't feel like staying home... feel like going wild outside... but in the mean time i still got the missing feeling inside my heart... even how happy am i even i sleep whatever i do i just can't stop thinking bout her missing her... is this what is called regret... or other things??? am i going crazy??? ARGH!!! who can i run to talk to hug to cry to... who who WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO??? can anybody help me... anyone... what i need is LOVE no more... can anybody provide it to me just like what she did last time... anybody just tell me... just tell me i am willing to do anything for you...  i am willing to exchange money for love... why is love so important for me... why why why??? LOVE WILL KEEP US ALIVE... anybody understand... anybody... if u got the exact same feeling please find me... i need help SOS... why is breaking up so painful... ARGH ARGH!!! i want to leave this sad country... i really really do... never mind at least i learn a lesson... but no use learning a lesson from a girl you love that much... if i can start new with others... i will not take it seriously no more... what i can do now is back up leave... lost contact... delete pictures... that's it... but it can't control my mind... memories is still in it... and i will treasure it... is the most precious and treasurable moment... i can't forget about it... i love you so does she know??? ARGH JUST END HERE... don't know what to do anymore... just leave it... throw it away... be a heartless guy... but i can't... will continue more got to get ready to go to hyatt and seeks for GODS HELP... i hope i could put down my ego and cry in church and ask for help and kneel down... that's all i hope... take care bye bye

had kinda fun today

woke up so early jogging with da jie ah jen and stella... wow thats phat man... ok then when home bathe i am drop dead on my bed... ok woke up at 9.30 nothing to do drive around... ok after that went home again... ok ate sandwiches ok... then lepak abit at home ok... on9 awhile ok... times up look for SHANNON BABE, and sally ok... walk around in jusco ok... sent them to dancing class ok... when back home... ok... thats it now waiting for chuan cedric to see got any plans mah ok... till here jake no love... but with love for shannon poon babe... i miss her ok heheh everything ok... muaksz love ou guys ok... chak muaksz pui... hehehe ok bye bye till here ciaoz ok hehehe

dont know whats going on hahaha

Hi good morning ladies and gentlemen... yesterday was a day, i woke up late then when out with my dad then went to kampung... after that i need to go to oil pump estate to see see... hot like hell... after that when back home called Shannon... hehe i am very happy to hear her voice... after that she got to sleep cuz she got church in the morning... today i went back to kampung to see see again cuz must fertilize the oil pump... yeah and came home... nothing much.. don't know whats going on... feel so blur nothing seems to interest me alot now... that's it... for yesterday and today my life ain't interesting at all... hahaha... OK till here ciaoz... LOVE SHANNON MISS SHANNON ALOT THAT'S ALL MUAKSZ LOVE U... hehehe

blablabla finaly the sun shines today

its been three days from which i enter blog dont know what to say, what to type, what to write... ok me everyday hanging out in my friends house nothing better to do... then chat cause cant go out been raining like crazy... get myself all wet every single day... finaly the sun shines today... phew... kinda miss tai yang gong gong... hahaha... hope u understand mandarin... everynite hang out with chuan lung, nat, or kok chin  nothing better to do in life... just sitting around smoking drinking eating.... and 1 more thing... i am very happy to chat with my heart love BABY SHANNON every night.... that feels really really good... hahaha last nite chatted till 4.30 am wah finaly i got a good nite rest... woohoo... slept till 9 something nat woke me up saying chuan is coming now... got ready so rushing... after i finish a call from him saying hehehe chuan say next day hahaha... nvm after that got a call from jen jen ah jen zax hahaha saying that he is coming over. asking me can he come over now? i said yes sure... i got ready again after that a call from jen jen saying aiyah sorry next time again... so i got ready for 2 times today. ok till here my day from getting ready... kinda boring now... hope tonite theres some programe yeah... so yeah AND I LOVE MY HEART SHANNON baby alot.... buai buai... ciaoz adios...  take care shannon hahaha... buai buai

fucking moment

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... i hate being born in this fucking world... missery pain all kinds of fucking things... fuck off... fuck you ass off... i am just another fucker...  fucking jackass

.... till here... CIAOZ HOPE SHE WILL HAVE FUN TOMOROW AND WONT GET WET

just another day missing shannon

today things didnt turn on that well either... when to school kinda sad, and i was surprised that how did the teacher prayed for me... after school when back straight home smoke abit rest chit chatted with shannon on the phone... night time arrive yeah went out with friends with 10,000 bc, the movie is ok nice... but once a person is in a bad mood everything turns bad for him, cuz in the cinema the water kept dripping on me none stop, it feels like tears hahaha... after movie went to mamak...after mamak everybody wants to go home... and i finally found james... yeah he fetch me out played some pool... round a few rounds in his car... yeah thats it just another day... and none the less I REALLY MISS SHANNON AND LOVES HER ALOT... yeah till here... take care everyone... i love shannon really loves her.... ok bye bye ciaoz

shannon baby shannon

hi everybody its just another day gone by... todays life abit hard again hahaha... since morning my mood is very bad... but when times fly to the afternoon a slight changes happen... i when for some stress puffing thingy... run back home... rest awhile, chatted with my sister on msn... i decided to call my baby shannon... chat with her told her that i will stop acting like that... cried alot also and see hows everything, and i will wait for her no matter what... after that she wanted to take a nap... then i got to go and puff again... after puffing is jogging time jog for 35 minutes kind tired... after jogging bathing time... after bathing i feel relax... miss her very much too... thats it for today nothing interesting hahaha lol... going to catch up some homework... ok anyway till here... I LOVE SHANNON MY BABY VERY MUCH AND MISSES HER LIKE CRAZY... ok today is my number 6th days in hunger... LOVE U GUYS... take care i love shannon ciaoz... muaks

yesterday

forgot to post yesterday... yesterday was also another hard day for me... when to school cut my hair, go home bathe when to shannon school look for her... but everything still doesnt workout for her yet, still treat me like an enemy really hurts me, later on i dont know why my school students came... philip is always talking with shannon fuck it... doesn't he have any eyes to see... just hope she could accept me once again... i really love her... anyway this is my 5th day in hunger... ciaoz till here... I LOVE SHANNON ALWAYS... take care...

misserable time

Hi, my name is jacob... i am new here... just trying to start something out for people to know me better... lets start about me today... i had a very bad day for almost a week already... but today wasnt the worst... i love a girl very much her name is shannon... i will never change this heart... se is a caring, kind, and a loving girl... will always love her... i miss her so much till i attemted suicide... but even i do all this things she will hate me more... so i called her today again... but she wasnt that happy so i ask her whether she still loves me... but i am sure is a yes... but she still suggest that we both should let everything go and get back to normal before we knew each other... i know is very hard for me... but for her i will always try to do it... even if i struggle how hard i must still try... today is kinda worst day because my school teacher tell meto cut my hair and my phone got confiscate... anyway all this doesnt matter... my baby shannon matters to me alot... and i will never give up but will change myself... and today is my fourth day in hunger... till here... will post about me tomorrow... keep you guys update... I LOVE MY DARLING SHANNON... take care bye bye and ciaoz