what's LOVE?

LOVE is patient, Love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. When i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known. and now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. but the greatest for me and in these is LOVE.  love jake

what's LOVE?

LOVE is patient, Love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. When i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known. and now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. but the greatest for me and in these is LOVE.  love jake

finding aome way to go back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead, 
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed, 
I've been lonely for so long, 
Trapped in the past, 
I just can't seem to move on! 


I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away, 
Just in case I ever need them again someday, 
I've been setting aside time, 
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind! 


All I want to do is find a way back into love. 
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
 


I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine, 
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs, 
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere! 


I've been looking for someone to shed some light, 
Not somebody just to get me through the night, 
I could use some direction, 
And I'm open to your suggestions. 


All I want to do is find a way back into love. 
I can't make it through without a way back into love. 
And if I open my heart again, 
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end! 


There are moments when I don't know if it's real 
Or if anybody feels the way I feel 
I need inspiration 
Not just another negotiation 


All I want to do is find a way back into love, 
I can't make it through without a way back into love, 
And if I open my heart to you, 
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do, 
And if you help me to start again, 
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

anybody understands... 

must beat it

i went to students convention at hyatt yesterday... and yah talk to all those school... looks cool... and finally found a college in australia, is called blue mountain hotel school... the package and deal looks cool... but the fees wasnt that nice... hahaha... but yeah wadava fees lets leave it aside... cuz wad we need the most is aim... without aim, focus, and try our best how good the school are also cant do it... so yah i want to wait for my school transcript later on see how and study hard... hopefully can leave earlier and beat my target sooner... at least is my 1st step of moving on... yeah... anyway hope can be successful and b useful... hahaha... till here ciaosz...

stop and stare

what can i do now is stop and stare, others leave it aside... i have already tried my best... stop thinking stop missing... but if i can see her i will stare at her thats it... life too short to live... stop wasting time... time is precious... if everything goes well will see... luckily theres blogger for me to talk... will change myself... temper, ego, bad character i will remove it... i believe GOD is with me he will help me out... the only thing now is how GOD want me to be... he created me he put me here with all kinds of test... in the mean time he knows what is best for me... what i can do now is listen to him follow his guidence... nobody loves me more than GOD do... he is my father... am not trying to be holy here... and i will not be holy... i will be the same wild playful but must learn to grow up... i am very happy that i did not miss last nite service... i am happy that i went up front... after the service i felt diferent... thank GOD  for the healing... i will love her silently... and i will love GOD too... our aba father is that how we say hahaha... ok till here will always update to blog hahaha... thanks blog for letting me type here... hahaha... stupid... take care and ciaosz

outta my mind

hohoho... i am outta my mind last night... wow i cant believe i did this kinda things... is love so important to me wow... but no matter how much i do how badly i did... i dun think she thinks is nice... no matter how i struggle how much i care and love... maybe this relationship couldn't hang on anymore... but why am i still doing this why don't i just give up let it go why why why??? i feel like cause is also very hard... things are just not gonna make sense to me anymore why??? why couldn't she just step out and talk to me am i that scary??? am i??? i think is a yes... but why must i do all this things... i should just let go and start new find a better girl prettier hotter... why i just can't do it... no matter how hard i try there's no use... even if i don't give up now things will get worst... so what even if i give up... why must i give up??? why can't i take this seriously and face it... and just be happy... why there's so many things to consider... damn it... why must give up why must not give up... ARGH!!!...am i that crazy for her... and why must i be crazy for her... since she don't even treat me as the special guy... the worst part is feeding my friend right infront of my eyes can pull out the meat feed piece by piece... why i couldn't do this to her... why is it so hard for me to let go... is she that important??? what if i have another girl??? and i don't love her... isn't that a poor thing... but why must i love her if she don't even love me... why is there so many unsolve things in me... and why there's nobody to share to nobody i can express to except her... why why why??? am i really crazy for love... am i really crazy??? am i really selfish??? am i really not caring, not sensible, not mature??? why must people always look down on me??? and in the end i look down at myself??? and what's make them think that they are mature??? why is the world going haywire??? is GOD STILL HERE WITH US??? is he very disappointed???  why isn't there any peace in this world??? why must i have feelings??? why is my heart not tough to face it??? why can't i just tell a girl fuck it leave it??? ARGH!!! today is good Friday??? but is so sad... why can't she just listen to me and agree with it and try to deal with it??? why must we always quarrel for the same old things??? can i just forget about her and study hard find a new girl be a successful fellow... rather than wasting my time trying to win her back, cry, jealous, in the end hatred... is there any better way to solve all this things... why do i have so many questions but none of it can answer, and nobody to ask questions... when i ask her she say stop she don't want to see me... she don't want to hear all this... who can i talk to right now... i need somebody to overcome this with me... me myself alone and i can ask myself can answer myself... there's too many... who can i run to??? anybody who who who...  life is too short... why must i waste it??? why can't i just join the gangs do bad things take drugs smoke drink in the end money still come in, die so what... why can't i just treat her just like another ordinary girl, a girl that i played and throw away, why can't i do it... why must i keep thinking of the past eight, nine months... and who the fuck cares even if i post it in the blog... who the fuck will read it... even if people reads... they will still think is nonsense another fucking emo useless guy... who the fuck am i typing all this too... will people understand me??? i don't think so... people will just think i am not calm enough i just need more time bla bla bla bla bla...  but why my heart just kept feeling not well after the break up??? it keeps dropping down... got no strength... don't feel like staying home... feel like going wild outside... but in the mean time i still got the missing feeling inside my heart... even how happy am i even i sleep whatever i do i just can't stop thinking bout her missing her... is this what is called regret... or other things??? am i going crazy??? ARGH!!! who can i run to talk to hug to cry to... who who WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO??? can anybody help me... anyone... what i need is LOVE no more... can anybody provide it to me just like what she did last time... anybody just tell me... just tell me i am willing to do anything for you...  i am willing to exchange money for love... why is love so important for me... why why why??? LOVE WILL KEEP US ALIVE... anybody understand... anybody... if u got the exact same feeling please find me... i need help SOS... why is breaking up so painful... ARGH ARGH!!! i want to leave this sad country... i really really do... never mind at least i learn a lesson... but no use learning a lesson from a girl you love that much... if i can start new with others... i will not take it seriously no more... what i can do now is back up leave... lost contact... delete pictures... that's it... but it can't control my mind... memories is still in it... and i will treasure it... is the most precious and treasurable moment... i can't forget about it... i love you so does she know??? ARGH JUST END HERE... don't know what to do anymore... just leave it... throw it away... be a heartless guy... but i can't... will continue more got to get ready to go to hyatt and seeks for GODS HELP... i hope i could put down my ego and cry in church and ask for help and kneel down... that's all i hope... take care bye bye

had kinda fun today

woke up so early jogging with da jie ah jen and stella... wow thats phat man... ok then when home bathe i am drop dead on my bed... ok woke up at 9.30 nothing to do drive around... ok after that went home again... ok ate sandwiches ok... then lepak abit at home ok... on9 awhile ok... times up look for SHANNON BABE, and sally ok... walk around in jusco ok... sent them to dancing class ok... when back home... ok... thats it now waiting for chuan cedric to see got any plans mah ok... till here jake no love... but with love for shannon poon babe... i miss her ok heheh everything ok... muaksz love ou guys ok... chak muaksz pui... hehehe ok bye bye till here ciaoz ok hehehe

dont know whats going on hahaha

Hi good morning ladies and gentlemen... yesterday was a day, i woke up late then when out with my dad then went to kampung... after that i need to go to oil pump estate to see see... hot like hell... after that when back home called Shannon... hehe i am very happy to hear her voice... after that she got to sleep cuz she got church in the morning... today i went back to kampung to see see again cuz must fertilize the oil pump... yeah and came home... nothing much.. don't know whats going on... feel so blur nothing seems to interest me alot now... that's it... for yesterday and today my life ain't interesting at all... hahaha... OK till here ciaoz... LOVE SHANNON MISS SHANNON ALOT THAT'S ALL MUAKSZ LOVE U... hehehe

blablabla finaly the sun shines today

its been three days from which i enter blog dont know what to say, what to type, what to write... ok me everyday hanging out in my friends house nothing better to do... then chat cause cant go out been raining like crazy... get myself all wet every single day... finaly the sun shines today... phew... kinda miss tai yang gong gong... hahaha... hope u understand mandarin... everynite hang out with chuan lung, nat, or kok chin  nothing better to do in life... just sitting around smoking drinking eating.... and 1 more thing... i am very happy to chat with my heart love BABY SHANNON every night.... that feels really really good... hahaha last nite chatted till 4.30 am wah finaly i got a good nite rest... woohoo... slept till 9 something nat woke me up saying chuan is coming now... got ready so rushing... after i finish a call from him saying hehehe chuan say next day hahaha... nvm after that got a call from jen jen ah jen zax hahaha saying that he is coming over. asking me can he come over now? i said yes sure... i got ready again after that a call from jen jen saying aiyah sorry next time again... so i got ready for 2 times today. ok till here my day from getting ready... kinda boring now... hope tonite theres some programe yeah... so yeah AND I LOVE MY HEART SHANNON baby alot.... buai buai... ciaoz adios...  take care shannon hahaha... buai buai

fucking moment

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... i hate being born in this fucking world... missery pain all kinds of fucking things... fuck off... fuck you ass off... i am just another fucker...  fucking jackass

.... till here... CIAOZ HOPE SHE WILL HAVE FUN TOMOROW AND WONT GET WET

just another day missing shannon

today things didnt turn on that well either... when to school kinda sad, and i was surprised that how did the teacher prayed for me... after school when back straight home smoke abit rest chit chatted with shannon on the phone... night time arrive yeah went out with friends with 10,000 bc, the movie is ok nice... but once a person is in a bad mood everything turns bad for him, cuz in the cinema the water kept dripping on me none stop, it feels like tears hahaha... after movie went to mamak...after mamak everybody wants to go home... and i finally found james... yeah he fetch me out played some pool... round a few rounds in his car... yeah thats it just another day... and none the less I REALLY MISS SHANNON AND LOVES HER ALOT... yeah till here... take care everyone... i love shannon really loves her.... ok bye bye ciaoz

shannon baby shannon

hi everybody its just another day gone by... todays life abit hard again hahaha... since morning my mood is very bad... but when times fly to the afternoon a slight changes happen... i when for some stress puffing thingy... run back home... rest awhile, chatted with my sister on msn... i decided to call my baby shannon... chat with her told her that i will stop acting like that... cried alot also and see hows everything, and i will wait for her no matter what... after that she wanted to take a nap... then i got to go and puff again... after puffing is jogging time jog for 35 minutes kind tired... after jogging bathing time... after bathing i feel relax... miss her very much too... thats it for today nothing interesting hahaha lol... going to catch up some homework... ok anyway till here... I LOVE SHANNON MY BABY VERY MUCH AND MISSES HER LIKE CRAZY... ok today is my number 6th days in hunger... LOVE U GUYS... take care i love shannon ciaoz... muaks

yesterday

forgot to post yesterday... yesterday was also another hard day for me... when to school cut my hair, go home bathe when to shannon school look for her... but everything still doesnt workout for her yet, still treat me like an enemy really hurts me, later on i dont know why my school students came... philip is always talking with shannon fuck it... doesn't he have any eyes to see... just hope she could accept me once again... i really love her... anyway this is my 5th day in hunger... ciaoz till here... I LOVE SHANNON ALWAYS... take care...

misserable time

Hi, my name is jacob... i am new here... just trying to start something out for people to know me better... lets start about me today... i had a very bad day for almost a week already... but today wasnt the worst... i love a girl very much her name is shannon... i will never change this heart... se is a caring, kind, and a loving girl... will always love her... i miss her so much till i attemted suicide... but even i do all this things she will hate me more... so i called her today again... but she wasnt that happy so i ask her whether she still loves me... but i am sure is a yes... but she still suggest that we both should let everything go and get back to normal before we knew each other... i know is very hard for me... but for her i will always try to do it... even if i struggle how hard i must still try... today is kinda worst day because my school teacher tell meto cut my hair and my phone got confiscate... anyway all this doesnt matter... my baby shannon matters to me alot... and i will never give up but will change myself... and today is my fourth day in hunger... till here... will post about me tomorrow... keep you guys update... I LOVE MY DARLING SHANNON... take care bye bye and ciaoz